dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize