Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
