he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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