Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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