bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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