my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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