omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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