And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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