wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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