some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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