he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
