i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
