$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
