That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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