Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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