a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize