my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
