I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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