I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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