does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
