Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
