I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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