their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
