I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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