We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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