Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
