dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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