it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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