I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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