i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
