I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
