Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize