Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
