Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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