rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
