? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am mentally ready for anal.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
