i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
