I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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