we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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