Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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