well you can't waste a boner
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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