At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think a kid would responsible me up
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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