i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
