This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
