is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
