Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
