i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
