I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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