he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
