You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
