i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm always down for nudity.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
