Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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