her vagine was all disorganized.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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