i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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