I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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