gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
