im having a threesome with these popsicles
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
