I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
