he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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