So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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