so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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