when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
