I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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