Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
